every two people cause an intersection. every person alters the world.

[protential]

Akiiraaaa...

[The train ride from Tokyo to Tamano, even including a layover to switch trains near the end, shouldn't have taken more than five hours total. They set out early that morning, after double- and triple-checking they had everything packed, and they were in pretty high spirits, all told. Then came the delays. As in, more than one delay. As in, it took over an hour just to get on the first train, and then another hour for that train to get moving--what fucking kind of train is late in Japan? There was some huge accident up the line, or down the line, or whatever, and all this other shit was going wrong, too. Anyway, to make a long story short, their five-hour journey ends up taking something like ten goddamn hours, which means they're a pair of frazzled crabs by the time they reach their beachside inn. Originally, they were going to go check out the water, maybe grab a bite to eat, but they just decide to crawl into bed and take a nap instead. Or, in Akira's case, it's more like she's mimicking a piece of driftwood for how stiff and lifeless she is.

Again, Hikaru pushes at Akira's shoulder, still rubbing the sleep from her own eyes. The room is not quite awash with twilight, but it's starting to get there. Out the nearby window, the sun is sinking into the calm, seemingly endless sea, with these great big bands of gold and orange, and even a sheen of green, to announce its passing. There are seagulls circling in the sky, barking at each other. Somebody's yacht is ringing its bell. Akira's steady breaths, though...]

Hey, Akira, [Hikaru says, and she aligns their heads together, so she'll be the first thing Akira sees when Akira finally decides to wake up.] If you don't get up soon, I'm gonna bite you right on the... [She yawns a little.] Right on the nose. [Well, not really. She can't say she's all that upset about their original plans being dashed like this. It's a good thing to have Akira getting some rest right now, since it seemed like she wasn't sleeping at all while over there in China. Stupid idiot.]

Comments

[protential]

[Hikaru doesn't want to take anything for granted. She doesn't want to overlook anything that's different, or anything that's stayed the same by some miracle. Even though Akira's hands are a little broader, with fingers that might be a little longer, the way Akira touches her isn't noticeably different from before. It feels as undeserved as it did the first time, and the second time, and the third. It feels like a reward for something she didn't actually do. It's the kind of thing that makes her want to, like, stop, you know, just stop and take Akira by the shoulders and have her explain why she wants to be with someone like Shindou Hikaru anyway. Akira's love for her came so easily, apparently, that much is apparent, and Hikaru knows it's never been like that with anybody else. Her mom treats loving her like a hardship, like it's a responsibility she never asked for, and her dad didn't bother with it in the first place, and then Sai... Sai. Well, Hikaru tries to smile as much as possible, thinking about how lucky she is, being loved and cherished. If she stops smiling, she'll probably start crying again instead, so it's better to smile as wide and wonderfully as she is. Akira is still Akira, she tells herself, this close to an embarrassing outburst. Akira is still Akira, and Akira is someone who loves her, who came back home in order to be with her. Akira came back. Akira went away, but then she came back. It's more of a revelation than it should be right now. Hikaru's cheeks are really starting to ache from how much she's smiling.] You look like... [They're honestly starting to hurt. She laughs it off, then, effervescent, a mist to match Akira's peaceful water lily. Akira's hands have this cool, smooth quality to them, too, like stones at the shore of a pond. They feel good on Hikaru's breasts and when they're slipping down her sides.] You're...

Like you're glad to be right where you are. That's what you look like.

[That, too, shouldn't be as much of a revelation as it is. But Hikaru knows it wasn't the easiest decision in the world to agree to this vacation. She knows Akira has other things she could be doing right now. More important things. All the things she's supposed to take care of after being abroad for months... She knows she asked for way too much when it came to her birthday. Just because Akira loves her (easily, and so fiercely) doesn't mean Akira is going to have the time and energy to cater to her every single selfish whim. Thinking about that, Hikaru swallows past a lump in her throat that tastes more like acid or mealworms or mealworms dissolving in acid. The warmth she's feeling right now--she wonders if that's just the guilt burning a hole straight through her chest. Akira doesn't have time for Hikaru to start bawling over stupid garbage like being afraid Akira's never going to come back to her ever again. How can she be scared of something that's been proven wrong? How can she be scared of anything when Akira is holding her?

Akira said she's pretty, even. Akira thinks she's pretty and she's supposed to repay that by not being a messy, needy, neurotic girlfriend. Hikaru closes her eyes and makes a noise that could be a pleased half-note of a hum, if a bit lodged in her throat. Then she leans back down, bringing them together, chest to chest, soft, and it's warm, with her face tucked in and against Akira's spotless neck. She has stuff she wants to say to Akira's heartbeat. She's going to keep smiling while she says it. She's going to speak slowly and steadily, inspired by the conviction of a setting sun.]

I spent a long time thinking about... in my pictures, how I'd want to look in them... what I was going to wear for them, and how I was going to look. I wanted you to like them. For all the ones I sent you, there were tons more I didn't send 'cause I looked like total shit in them. I didn't know what else I was supposed to do for you, when you weren't here, so...

[That isn't quite true, to be fair. Hikaru handed over all the other games she played through SGF files, and Akira was always grateful about being up to date on Hikaru's Go. She was always adamant that Hikaru's Go was this amazing thing even when it was full of bewildering, enraging moments. She was always saying Hikaru was good enough for her, no matter what.]

I just wanted you to keep looking at me, [she admits.]