but it's hard not to notice his presence when his presence becomes everything.

[protential]

[Somewhere between the fourth and fifth floors, Hikaru has to stop and catch her breath. She doesn't want to stop--she's possessed with the idea that she can't stop until she reaches the very top, and gets out onto the roof proper--but having a very sedentary profession is kind of a problem. More of a problem than she might've thought. Her entire body feels drenched with sweat, and the coursing adrenaline from earlier can't carry her any farther than this. It's actually disgusting, the way her clothing clings to her hips, and her breasts, and it's all smeared down her back, rapidly cooling off. She shivers, groaning into the palm of her hand. If someone else were here in this stairwell, they'd probably think there's a noisy ghost or something haunting the place. A ghost with...

Hikaru's hands are empty, she realizes. That isn't good. Really, if she dropped the fan on the way up here, she'll have to go back down and get it... She'll have to do that. But something stronger, deeper, darker, more like a riptide than a suggestion, is telling her to keep going. She grits her teeth against a fresh wave of despair, then pulls herself up another step, another two steps, three. Anything to get away from where she came from. Standing there at the awards ceremony was one of the most humiliating things she's ever had to do. It was like that nightmare where she shows up for school buck naked, with everyone staring at her, laughing at her, revolted by her, except this was very real and the stakes couldn't have been higher. Her decision to leave the ballroom early felt liberating for all of five seconds before it just felt like she was running away like a coward.

She reaches the landing of the fifth floor before it's too much, too much on her calves, her ankles, and she has to sit down. The wheeze of her breathing becomes its own laughter, quiet and helpless, rising and falling in pitch. If she doesn't hurry up, Touya's going to come find her; Touya's gonna beat the shit out of her. Maybe not physically, but... There is no end. Fine words, very fine words, but Touya's got to be as disappointed as anybody else--even more disappointed, after she allowed Hikaru to take her place as first board. Hikaru didn't play a game anywhere near worthy of Sai, much less the first board position, much less Touya Akira herself. Touya's got to be out for blood right now.

Then: an approach of footsteps, somewhere down below. The granite echo makes them harder to pinpoint, which also makes them more terrifying.] Please, [Hikaru whispers, and she doesn't know what she's praying for, much less who she's praying to when she does it. All of her prayers over the board amounted to nothing, right?

She buries her face in her hands, then. It's the only thing she can think to do.]

Comments

[ashlar]

[It's not unexpected for Shindou to leave. Akira had been bracing herself for it. As Shindou does step away from the ceremony, away from her, Akira takes in a long, slow breath, quiet through her parted lips. She staunchly refuses to watch Shindou's retreat—that's what it is, a retreat—but after that, belatedly, she realizes she can't hear anything. It's a realization almost as dull as everything else around her. It isn't unexpected for Shindou to leave, but still, when she does, Akira can't save her brain from the wake of that retreat. She is rocking dangerously on the welters of that wake; she could be seasick, she could be blinded by foam. Froth like that is filling her eyes, it's bubbling into her ears. All sights and sounds are effervescent, and that same foam tests the boundaries of her skull; she doesn't even have the presence of mind to fear this spumy wash. The ballroom is lost to it, as are all the speakers, and no language makes clear landing, not even her native tongue. She's thinking about Shindou's back, but not the murmurs made around it. She's not thinking about dragging Shindou back here, by her hand or her hair. Weirdly, she's not thinking about doing that... If Akira hears anything through the weight of white, it's her own name—Touya Akira—isn't it? Some official, some remark upon her prowess? Or is it Touya, Shindou rolling her eyes, Shindou hiding things? Is Akira's name coming forth from the mouth of a middle aged man who thinks she's smart but doesn't realize she's brilliant, or as a dare from insufferable, mesmerizing Shindou? Akira has been taking dares all her life, you know.

Like roiling seas, all herald of thunderheads, Akira storms out of the ballroom. She looks more prideful than a god, entitled to it, chin held higher than Susanoo in his own storminess. Actually, she can feel her heart seizing inside her chest. She doesn't feel godly and she doesn't feel worthy of anything higher than the appalled clamor she's sure ripples after her. Her teeth clench hard while she tries to clamp down on all of it—she cannot think about what she's just done until she's far away from it...

It doesn't take long for the tension in her jaw to cause a headache. She can feel it reaching all the way up to the space behind her eyes. Best to keep it there, though. Best to keep it away from her hands, because she doesn't want to snap Shindou's fan in half, now that she's found it. She doesn't want to snap Shindou in half, now that she's found her. And she's sweating, too.]

Were you running away from me? [she asks at first, because Shindou is so fast... It's getting harder and harder not to hold the fan too tightly. Then she realizes that she probably does sound like a murderer when she asks it, if the whispers of her classmates are anything to go by. Akira swallows, although her throat is painfully dry from all the exertion. She's trying hard not to breathe too quickly or too deeply, even though there's no way to hide that she's winded. She just won't let herself gulp in air.] You were, um... it was hard to catch up.

[Akira is still standing, and looking down to the top of Shindou's head is an uncomfortable feeling. She shifts on her feet, and sets one hand against the wall to brace herself. A part of her feels the need to demand that Shindou get up, and a part of her wants to sit down right next to her.]