[To Hikaru's ears, Touya's voice is more like the rustle of cotton gauze. Touya himself is the sterile medical gauze applied to an open, debilitating wound, designed to keep him from bleeding out. When he's with Touya, it's a little easier to remember how he used to be, when his circulation was strong and actually reliable. He can almost, almost convince himself he's still that same person from a year ago. He can become vibrant--colorful, audacious, infuriating. He can become insightful, and combative, and even a little mesmerizing, if that's what Touya likes. His eyes, half-lidded and pleased, do seem like they're offering Touya whatever passions he'd like. For now, it seems as though Hikaru's hemorrhaging has stopped. His heart beats when it should, and it's carrying oxygen to all of his extremities, just like it's supposed to. He can feel the curl of his own fingers around Touya's granitelike fist. His blood will overwhelm the dressing sooner or later, maybe sooner than not--but not before tomorrow, with any luck.
He kisses Touya like he's getting used to it, less curious and then more comfortable with it, doing it for reasons other than because he can. The first time, he kind of bumped their noses together en route, unsure of the angle and where to land... but now he knows how this puzzle should fit together. He can taste Touya's tension, a little bitter like licorice, reminding him of the last time he apologized by sharing a bag of candy with him. Given the chance, he's pretty sure he could figure out how to make Touya melt. Nothing would be more gratifying then watching him dissolve like sugar into a skillet.
Staying close, Hikaru says,] Every day. Every day. That's what I'm telling you. I mean it, too. You can't look at me right now and tell me I don't mean it, because I seriously do... [That hand at his hair somehow convinces him to close his eyes, letting him savor a touch like this for the very first time. Sai may have cradled his little head and told him things would be better by morning's light, but that wasn't anything like this. This is more than a kindness. More than a blessing. No word exists in any language that can describe what this means to him.
If Touya keeps touching him, and playing Go with him, then everything will have been worth it. That's what he's trying to tell himself, at least.]
Do you like it?
[And he doesn't specify what he means by that question, and he doesn't believe he needs to, either. At long last, after their fifth kiss, he's asking if Touya thinks it's something worthwhile. He's also asking if Touya wants to do it again.]
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He kisses Touya like he's getting used to it, less curious and then more comfortable with it, doing it for reasons other than because he can. The first time, he kind of bumped their noses together en route, unsure of the angle and where to land... but now he knows how this puzzle should fit together. He can taste Touya's tension, a little bitter like licorice, reminding him of the last time he apologized by sharing a bag of candy with him. Given the chance, he's pretty sure he could figure out how to make Touya melt. Nothing would be more gratifying then watching him dissolve like sugar into a skillet.
Staying close, Hikaru says,] Every day. Every day. That's what I'm telling you. I mean it, too. You can't look at me right now and tell me I don't mean it, because I seriously do... [That hand at his hair somehow convinces him to close his eyes, letting him savor a touch like this for the very first time. Sai may have cradled his little head and told him things would be better by morning's light, but that wasn't anything like this. This is more than a kindness. More than a blessing. No word exists in any language that can describe what this means to him.
If Touya keeps touching him, and playing Go with him, then everything will have been worth it. That's what he's trying to tell himself, at least.]
Do you like it?
[And he doesn't specify what he means by that question, and he doesn't believe he needs to, either. At long last, after their fifth kiss, he's asking if Touya thinks it's something worthwhile. He's also asking if Touya wants to do it again.]